Bookmark: Life of the Queen 2: Return of the Seraphina
Enjeubleu on 1/6/2020 12:22:31 PM
Episode last modified by Enjeubleu on 1/6/2020 1:59:05 PM
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On a time limit. (14)
Good stuff. Seraphina is a biiiit of a Mary Sue I see. Can't wait to see what you had in mind for the meeting with Jon.
Which is not to say that you should rush to that scene. I'm enjoying what you're doing and this characterization of Karyn. If you have something more planned here I'm also eager to see it. Or if you want to continue Jon's romantic interlude. Great job.
Thanks! I'm pretty satisfied with this chapter; per the tell-not-show rule of all good-bad literature, none of the skills Edea was listed of having will ever be made relevant. As for Karyn, I'd thought I could make her a good contrast to Jon. If one’s gonna be the passive female protagonist with the agency of a lamp, the other’s gonna be a ridiculous self-insert with infuriatingly little personality. I’m also considering having Karyn be queer, just to bully her with the “only straight white people in fantasies” trope. What are your thoughts?
I think it still works. We're already close to but not quite at the edge of where that would go. Might be good to keep in mind for flexibility's sake.
I was always a sucker for the adolescent romance overtones of the first chapter between Jon and Karyn, to be honest. Although you could do a similar thing if Karyn was bi thus eliminating the choice for her while leaving that subplot open as a possibility. Alternatively, could just screw the both of them again. They're blessed by a fertility goddess right? Meaning, breeding. Maybe other elves are just fine with what anyone might get up to sexually, but the royal family is always 100% straight. But really, I trust you to come up with something good. I'm quite eager.
And yeah love what you're doing with the contrast between Jon and Karyn's characters. And the excerpt from the awful fantasy novel. Personally I was never sure if the world the bookmark generated should match what it was used on 100% or just the essence of it. But I think you're getting a lot out of it being a specific setting.
I didn't even think about how a potential romance between the two is ruined by their unwanted family dynamic. Crap, that could be hilarious. As for the bookmark, I treating it as taking on as many traits from the one book as possible (because that's all Jon and Karen used it on)... But with a twist. I'm not quite sure how to reveal it yet, but I'm thinking that the bookmark may have "remembered" a few traits from the book its last owner used it on: an erotica.
That would certainly make sense given where we're taking it so far. Though personally I found a lot of the fairly PG fantasy like Wheel of Time to be sexually charged in a subdued, circumspect way. Character's can't cuss and the women are all aloof but here's a loving description of how great all their tits look in this over-detailed dress design.
If it's already mandated by the genre, then I'll leave it as is. There is a funny contrast between oversexed characters and fairly pg plotlines--which is all I was gonna pull out of the erotica, of course. Anything too sex-related is a definite no-go, especially when the characters aren't doing it willingly.