Bookmark: Life of the Queen 2: Return of the Seraphina

Enjeubleu on 1/6/2020 12:22:31 PM
Episode last modified by Enjeubleu on 1/6/2020 1:59:05 PM

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__From "The Legends of the Hollowed Lands." Chapter 2, page 15.__ _Edea Amberleaf was a prodigy. In the truest sense of the word, she represented an array of skills and talents so perfectly fined-tuned that even a lifetime master in any one of her fields could barely be considered an equal. She was renowned in the arts, wartime strategy, history, architecture, psychology, medicinal biology, magical theory and magical practice. The polymath was easily one of Tyr’s most valuable assets._ _Yet, she could not even hold a candle to Queen Seraphina Lalafina Oblige._ _When first conscripted as the queen’s right hand woman, the young Edea thought her new role to just be that of a glorified secretary. Oh, how wrong she was. No matter what Edea thought herself capable of, the queen was always five steps ahead, spinning tactical webs so intricate and well put together that the supposed genius could just barely follow along._ _Over the course of only a few centuries, Edea watched Her Majesty transform a once dying civilization into a thriving empire known throughout all the Hollowed Lands—having done so not only as a ruler, but a behind-the-scenes mastermind. She controlled her people with the supernatural grace and subtlety of a night-spider— dispassionately, intelligently, efficiently. Yes, the High Elves of Tyr worshipped their queen with the adoration that they should have. But even today, they were unaware that the land they treaded on was nearly synonymous with the palm of Seraphina’s hand._ _The queen always, __always__, knew what she was doing._ …............. Karyn had absolutely no idea what she was doing. Being teleported to the throne room was cool. Really cool, actually, she never felt a rush of weightlessness like that in her life. Learning that the throne room existed at the very top of the tree-palace--and that all guests hoping to waste her time had to get there by foot--was freaking amazing. The throne room itself? Surreal. The ceiling was entirely built of stained glass, displaying not only the fittingly massive foliage that umbrellaed the mind-numbingly gargantuan tree, but a stunning rendition of what was probably the High Elves' history. The walls were contrarily made up of clear glass, showing off the brilliant city that supposedly belonged to her. _And the throne was literally hovering off the floor._ She was at the top of the world. And it was utterly terrifying. Karyn was not the High Elven queen, no matter how forcefully the bookmark dragged her through this mess of a plot. But the way people in this damn story—nobles, servants, whoever else she was forced to talk to—treated her, feared her, respected her? Everyone, and this meant _everyone_, worshiped her with profound reverence. Queen Seraphina was not just the backbone of… of Kyr? Or was it Lyr? It didn't matter. She was the heart beat, the life blood, the very soul. __Nothing__ happened without some degree of her influence. She had a finger in all the pies: a spy in every single less-than-legal business, friends in high places, low places, and wherever else she needed them. It. Was. Insane. And so. Incredibly. Stressful. Karyn wasn’t the one at the wheel, but she nonetheless wanted to jump off this crazy ride. So… Yeah. She needed a break. Bad. When she was finished with the school lunch and learned about the hour of free time before her meeting up with Jon? __And now that she was off schedule and out of paperwork to fill, the Story finally relaxed its stony grip on her?__ Seraphina’s stunning visage may have looked on with the same clinical dispassion as always, but Karyn could _almost_ feel her eyes begin to water.

On a time limit. (14)


Good stuff. Seraphina is a biiiit of a Mary Sue I see. Can't wait to see what you had in mind for the meeting with Jon.


ThePro

1/6/2020 2:05:17 PM

Which is not to say that you should rush to that scene. I'm enjoying what you're doing and this characterization of Karyn. If you have something more planned here I'm also eager to see it. Or if you want to continue Jon's romantic interlude. Great job.


ThePro

1/6/2020 2:09:09 PM

Thanks! I'm pretty satisfied with this chapter; per the tell-not-show rule of all good-bad literature, none of the skills Edea was listed of having will ever be made relevant. As for Karyn, I'd thought I could make her a good contrast to Jon. If one’s gonna be the passive female protagonist with the agency of a lamp, the other’s gonna be a ridiculous self-insert with infuriatingly little personality. I’m also considering having Karyn be queer, just to bully her with the “only straight white people in fantasies” trope. What are your thoughts?


Enjeubleu

1/6/2020 4:05:30 PM

I think it still works. We're already close to but not quite at the edge of where that would go. Might be good to keep in mind for flexibility's sake.


ThePro

1/6/2020 7:31:34 PM

I was always a sucker for the adolescent romance overtones of the first chapter between Jon and Karyn, to be honest. Although you could do a similar thing if Karyn was bi thus eliminating the choice for her while leaving that subplot open as a possibility. Alternatively, could just screw the both of them again. They're blessed by a fertility goddess right? Meaning, breeding. Maybe other elves are just fine with what anyone might get up to sexually, but the royal family is always 100% straight. But really, I trust you to come up with something good. I'm quite eager.


ThePro

1/6/2020 5:40:57 PM

And yeah love what you're doing with the contrast between Jon and Karyn's characters. And the excerpt from the awful fantasy novel. Personally I was never sure if the world the bookmark generated should match what it was used on 100% or just the essence of it. But I think you're getting a lot out of it being a specific setting.


ThePro

1/6/2020 5:42:00 PM

I didn't even think about how a potential romance between the two is ruined by their unwanted family dynamic. Crap, that could be hilarious. As for the bookmark, I treating it as taking on as many traits from the one book as possible (because that's all Jon and Karen used it on)... But with a twist. I'm not quite sure how to reveal it yet, but I'm thinking that the bookmark may have "remembered" a few traits from the book its last owner used it on: an erotica.


Enjeubleu

1/6/2020 6:43:47 PM

That would certainly make sense given where we're taking it so far. Though personally I found a lot of the fairly PG fantasy like Wheel of Time to be sexually charged in a subdued, circumspect way. Character's can't cuss and the women are all aloof but here's a loving description of how great all their tits look in this over-detailed dress design.


ThePro

1/6/2020 6:46:00 PM

If it's already mandated by the genre, then I'll leave it as is. There is a funny contrast between oversexed characters and fairly pg plotlines--which is all I was gonna pull out of the erotica, of course. Anything too sex-related is a definite no-go, especially when the characters aren't doing it willingly.


Enjeubleu

1/6/2020 6:53:03 PM

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