Iridescent Sun: It's All in How You Look at Things

Jeff turned, half-considering telling his dad that he'd found his *own* way to make real money, but his dad had already gone. It...it was typical. He'd just come in to talk at Jeff, and then gone when he was done...like he was just a sounding board for his father's opinions. He sighed and turned back to his phone to watch the auction. Another $300...the initial bidding frenzy seemed to be leveling off, but of course there was still a solid week to go. Plenty of time for more money to add up. He wondered how much he'd wind up with. Maybe thousands...maybe tens of thousands? Who knew? People could go crazy trying to get stuff, if they thought it was rare or cool enough, just to *have* it. After all, what would any of these people *do* with a mermaid egg? It'd get stale and then they'd have to keep it in the fridge or something to keep it from rotting, so much upkeep just for something to *look* at...but hey, that wasn't *his* problem. And he'd have a ton of money...he wondered, how would it stack up against what his father was going to lose in the divorce? After all, even with the pre-nup... ...God, why was he even thinking about that? It was depressing. To think that his parents were just together for...for his father to *get* something...to get *him,* as if he was just an asset...a *thing*...had his mom known all along? His dad certainly seemed to be implying that, but then, his dad was also the one who'd told him how important it was not to let people know any more about you than they had to, in case they used it against you...and if she'd known, and if it was really all that easy for her to win in court, why wouldn't she have taken action *then?* No, his dad had probably kept it from her until the right time, and now he was bored, done, and he'd just move on, leaving a broken relationship behind...a broken family...if it had ever really been one...just...broken... *-you broke me, Razor-* Jeff felt his stomach churn. No, no! That...that was just a dream...just a nightmare. It wasn't real, and it wasn't even relevant. It was...it was just something on his mind, was all. He wasn't like that. He *wasn't.* He knew his father wanted him to be like he was, wanted him to think like he did, wanted him to take over the company someday and run it like he would, but...he wasn't like his father. He just *wasn't.* He didn't take people and treat them like- *-you treat people like* things, *and you think they're just there for* you*-* ...but...but he *didn't!* Ricky didn't *understand,* he was trying to look out for Belle...and Ricky, and the mermaid, well...well, didn't they *owe* it to him? After all, the mermaid was staying in *his* pool, and Ricky got to be his friend, which was a lot more than someone like Ricky could ever have managed on his own, and...and... ...and...did that really change any of it? But Belle...with Belle, he had really- *-you want me to help you control* her *like you control* me*-* But it was for *her own good,* dammit! Belle couldn't take care of herself! She was eight inches tall and needed someone to wind her, and she was...absent-minded...and he'd had to fix her grades for her, even *before* she'd changed- *-Before I was changed. You broke me razor broke me-* He felt like he was going to throw up again. He...that wasn't true, that *couldn't* be true! He'd helped her fix her grades so she wouldn't have to be held back, or have to be diagnosed with some disability or something, he'd been there for her, so that she knew she could depend on him, and...and... ...and she'd left him. But...not because she *wanted* to, but because she felt it was better for *him*...more fair to *him*...so why didn't it make *him* happy? But at least she didn't *want* to leave him, didn't intend to betray him or hate him...not like Ricky, who hated him, or Wanda, who hated him... Jeff felt a knot forming in his stomach. *I...* he thought, *I...Ricky, and Wanda...broken relationships...but it* can't *be like* that*...not like that!* But...Ricky hated him...because of something he did. Wanda hated him because of things he did...but the things he did were *justified,* weren't they? *Weren't* they? ...did it *matter?* Those relationships...were still *broken,* because of...because of what he did...and even with Belle, would...would she have even *been* changed, if he hadn't told her to come over to see how he'd acquired Ricky? It wasn't his fault that she hadn't considered waiting until sundown, but if he hadn't tried to claim Ricky in the first place... *...did I really destroy these relationships?* he wondered. *...do I really break everything I touch?* He felt ill. Was he really just like his father, using people and then throwing them away when he'd gotten what he wanted? But...but his father had told him that that was just how things were...use people or be used by them, and all the people who just wanted to be his friends because he had money were ample proof of that... ...but...Belle hadn't been like that. Had...had *all* of the others? Or had he driven away the ones that *weren't* by treating them like they *were?* He didn't even know; he couldn't remember any of them well enough to tell in retrospect. But...Belle was an exception, an amazing, impossible little exception to the rule...to the way of looking at things that his father had taught him... ...and his father didn't even trust *her.* Not even when she'd only left him because she thought it was good for him...his father was wrong about Belle, he knew it. Why...couldn't he be wrong about...other things? His way of looking at things wasn't even satisfying, anyway...it didn't match what he'd seen in Belle, and...maybe it felt wrong because it *was* wrong...? But...if what his dad had taught him was *wrong,* then...what was *right?* He didn't know...how were you supposed to go about finding some *other* way of looking at things? How did you even *start?* His phone pinged again, alerting him to another bid. Huh, this was more than the last bid; maybe it was picking up again? Sweet. He'd make an assload of money, and then he'd get it safely in his bank account, and *then* he'd tell his father about it, and... ...and he'd be thinking...exactly like his father. Trying to boil everything down to money, to possessions and transactions... But what should he even *do* then? He couldn't just...just... Jeff stared at his phone for a long time. Somehow it was harder to make this kind of decision when he wasn't even under any direct pressure. Still...he sighed, shook his head sadly, and removed the listing. Feeling glum and thinking about the sheer amount of money he could've made, he carried the egg back downstairs and out to the pool. - - - Anne stared at the little figure sitting on Ricky's desk in amazement. "Wow," she breathed. "Is this really her?" Ricky nodded. Belle looked up at the nerdy girl, wondering exactly what her deal was. Some of the other students had just come to gawk at her, and Ricky had had to shoo them away, but...Anne felt different. She seemed like she was actually interested in *Belle* and not just in the tiny wind-up doll on the desk, and that made Belle feel a little better. Still, though... She sighed. Anne gazed at her a bit worriedly. "What's wrong?" she asked. Not that it wasn't understandable for someone to be a little melancholy mere hours after being changed so drastically, but it would be nice to show a little concern for her. Belle stared at her feet. "I...I didn't wanna leave him," she said. "I didn't...it just wasn't fair to him...he shouldn't hafta go to all that trouble, just for me..." Anne sat down at the next desk over and leaned down next to the little clockwork girl. "You love him, don't you?" she asked. Belle nodded. "But it's...'snot the same anymore," she said. "I'm all tiny, an' when we kissed...wasn't the same, I dunno...he shouldn't hafta bother takin' care of me, he did so much of that already..." She sighed and leaned against Ricky's arm, which the larger clockwork-girl was resting on the desk. Anne sighed. "Listen," she said. "I...I dunno, I don't know that much about this stuff. But...I have an uncle who's in a wheelchair, okay? He hasn't been able to walk for years. And my aunt helps him with all the stuff he can't do on his own." She folded her hands, twiddling her fingers and idling swinging her legs as if to reassure herself that they were still working. "For the longest time," she said, "I thought, man, it must be hell for her, having to do all that in addition to everything else she has to take care of. I mean, they've got three kids-" "Why doesn't he go out in the Sun?" Ricky interrupted. "I've heard a lot of people have those kinds of problems go away when they get a different body." Anne frowned. "It's a religious thing," she said. "They figure if God wants him to be exposed, then He'll arrange that, or something. I dunno. But that's not the point. Point is," she said, "I thought it must've been awful, and I was impressed by how my aunt put on such a good face for all she had to deal with - until I mentioned that to her one day." She smiled. "She told me it wasn't like that at all," she said. "She looks at it like doing all that stuff for him is a way she *gets* to express her love for him. So does he, and he shows his appreciation for it. And honestly, when I asked them about him going out in the Sun, they almost sounded a little disappointed - I mean, I'm sure they'd still love each other if he could walk again, but then they would have this whole way of expressing it that wouldn't be the same anymore, because he wouldn't need her help the way he does now." Belle peered up at her. "...I don't get it," she said, confused. Anne shrugged. Ricky was looking at her with an expression that plainly suggested that she wanted to remind Anne that they were talking about the boy who'd just tried to control both her and her smaller "cousin" for no other reason than that he could. Anne nodded to her. "Look," she said, turning back to Belle. "I...I don't know much about relationships, really, and...I dunno what I think of...*him.* But I just mean that...I know you meant well by trying to free him from what you saw as a burden, but...maybe he *wants* that responsibility. Maybe that's part of the way he expresses his feelings for you. I dunno. I...I'm not gonna tell you what to do, just...maybe think about it."