I really enjoy the story you started too

I took a break from fb for a bit but after coming back and reading through some additions I have to say I really enjoyed your writing (even though I usually prefer transformations into weaker females, not ones with superhero qualities). Your prose flows well. It's clear you gave the story a good think and I like how you're building a bunch of new lore to sit on top of it. The one critique I have is the formatting. You are not always consistent with paragraphs that get separated by one 'Enter' versus two, or for example. I think your text would read so much better if you put two New Lines at an end of *each* paragraph, quoted speech marks etc. instead of just one. It would read better (at least to me) if the text was broken down into more discrete chunks. Other than that I also really appreciate how sneakily you let the reader know that Jon *might* have some control over Victoria's 'stats' (and how she still has no clue if the danger is real because Jon changes his mind and *Hairstyle* disappears). I'm hoping you'll use it to have her gradually turn into what **Jon** and not Leonard considers a 'perfect girl, maybe making him slightly more miserable - but that's just my preferences ;)