Forty Lashes With the Candy Cane

"Punishment? What kind of punishment?" Jon asked. "How *dare* you speak without permission!" Santa yelled. "For your insolence, your punishment shall be forty lashes with the candy cane." *Candy cane? Well, that doesn't sound so bad,* Jon thought. "Servant!" Santa yelled. In seconds, the door to the room opened and another elf scurried in. "Yes, Master?" the elf asked, clearly shaken. This was definitely not what Jon imagined when he thought of Santa's workshop at the North Pole. It was more like Santa's *sweat*shop at the tenth level of Hell. "Fetch me the cane." A look of horror filled the elf's face, but he bowed anyway. "Yes, Master." He left the room, apparently to get the "candy cane". From the elf's reaction, Jon figured that the "cane" was some sort of torture device. But how bad could a candy cane be? They certainly weren't dangerous. "You're going to regret ever coming here, human," Santa said, then the door to the room opened ...