Remember your French class

Fortunately, Jon had studied some French in school and now he wracked his brains to remember any useful snippets. One thing was clear: he wasn't in Kansas anymore, Toto... "Monsieur, ou sommes nous? Quel pays?" The man gave Jon an odd look. "En France, madame!" He hurried on, looking confused. Jon's head reeled. He was in **France**. An ocean lay between him and the rock. He could be stuck here like this, and expanding around the middle for the next 6 months. That wouldn't do. He had to find a way out of here and fast. He wanted to spend as little time as possible as a strange pregnant French woman!