The Bench: A Call From Moose

"What are you talking about?" said the voice on the phone. "You know that I'm Moose. Don't tell me that your kids are hassling you so much that you've forgotten your best friend. I know they can be a handful, but sometimes it seems that you need a break, you know? Get rid of all that stress." Moose? What kind of name was that? And what kids? Derek didn't have any kids. He wasn't *old* enough. "I'm visiting my neighbor Nadine right now. You know, the British one. Anyway, I won't be able to have lunch with you today. Maybe we could reschedule?" "Uh ... " he answered, unsure of how to respond. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me right now. Just give me a call later, okay? Bye." Derek looked at his phone. Who *was* that? He shook his head, realizing that it must have been just a wrong number. He then put his cellphone back in his pocket, but was suddenly confused to see that he didn't *have* any pockets. His clothes were different! Now he was wearing a flower-print summer dress and on his feet a pair of 3-inch heels, something a woman would wear. How did this happen?